EDIT: This spoof has been added to!
-------------------------------------------
NOTE: If you don't watch American Idol, you probably won't understand any of this. In fact, you probably won't understand a lot of it as it is, lol.
Anyways, here it is, an American Idol spoof my brother and I were doing. More may be added later.
PERFORMANCE NIGHT
Ryan Seacrest: Welcome to yet another night of American Idol! As you know...
Simon Cowell: Get on with it, Ryan.
Ryan: *to Simon* Shut up or I'll douse you again.
Paula Abdul: That wasn't very nice!
Ryan: *looking at camera* ANYWAY, *throws a cup of water at Simon*
Simon: *censored*
Ryan: As you know, we have a theme for each night, and this week's theme is...
Randy Jackson: let me guess- musicals?
Ryan: haha, no we did that last week.
Simon: *sarcastically* Um... reggae hits from the 20's?
Ryan: Close!
Paula: Instrumental classics?
Ryan: Yes! Wait, no, that's next week...
Simon: *rolls eyes*
Ryan: I saw that.
Simon: Congratulations.
Ryan: *Throws Simon a dirty look**Looking back at camera* let's go backstage with our finalists and see what's up! ..... Ok, finalists, here are your hints: annoying, gets stuck in your head, and they're everywhere.
Vonzell Solomon: your fangirls?
Carrie Underwood: how would fangirls get stuck in your head?
Vonzell: oh, yeah. Um...
Constantine Maroulis (hope I spelled that right): I think I know this one!
Bo Bice: *thinking* it doesn't matter if you do or not cause I'm still gonna kick butt in this competition. Hehe. Little do they know that I'm actually an already-famed popstar in disguise that was taken captive by aliens some 700 years ago...
*Speaking now*
Mwahahaha!
Scott Savol: *To Bo* You all right, man?
Bo: *Evil grin* Yes. I'm doing just fine, I'd say.
Ryan: *to Constantine* Well?
Constantine: Um... choir hymns?
Ryan: Uh.... no. Commercial jingles!
Finalists: ----
Ryan: And back to the show after this 30-minute commercial break!
--45 MINUTE COMMERCIAL BREAK--
Ryan: Weeeee're back for more American Idol!
Simon: *mutters* just to state the obvious...
Mario Vasquez: *limps in wearing a catfish suit* and more me!
Ryan: *gasps* you're back! I-I mean, uh, wow what a... surprise...
Mario: Ryan, after the show, you've had it!
Ryan: *gulps* there are witnesses...... *points to audience*
Mario: After the show... BAM. �*Leaves*
Ryan: OK, that didn�t just happen. Anyway, let�s take a look at our first contestant, Nadia Turner!
Nadia Turner: *On the �interview� camera, backstage* I�ve always loved sour cream. I mean, it kind of follows the story of my life, you know? So for me it was a pretty obvious choice. I just hope the real me comes out tonight, but I think it will.
*On stage*
Start off your day with a dollop, a dollop.
You can light up a room with a dollop... of daisy!
They say it comes in lots of styles
When you spread it around you get lots of smiles.
Your family and friends are special to you,
So give �em all a dollop or two!
A dollop, a dollop, a dollop...
Of Daisy!
Electronic cue sign: *to audience* Well, applaud all ready!
Audience: *sits there stupidly*
Electronic cue sign: I said applaud, you imbeciles!
Audience: *applauds, according to electronic sign*
Electronic cue sign: yes, applaud my slaves! Obey my every whim! Mwahahaha!
Ryan: Well, let�s see what our judges have to say about this!
Randy: You got a little pitchy in some places, ya know, it was just... it was just OK for me, man. It was just OK.
Paula: I loved it! You rule the world! It�s all clear from here on out! You go, girl!
Simon: It was horrible. Your song was as pitchy as a donkey stepping on a mosquito with a hangover.
Paula: I disagree. Besides, your analogies still suck.
Electronic cue sign: I understood his analogy.
Ryan: Let�s move on, shall we?
Electronic cue sign: Oh, yes, we shall. Because I want to! It�s all me!
Bo: This week�s theme was pretty difficult to do, cuz you know, it�s really throwing me out of my element, but I think I pulled myself out of it. *Thinking* Hahaha. I shall vanquish wanna-be rocker Constantine once again! *Speaking now* Mwahahahaha!
Electronic cue sign: Uh, Bo, are you OK?
BO: Hey, Louisiana, do you wanna great deal?
Talk to Jim Taylor! He can make it real
In a Chevy.
Save big money on a car or truck,
Friendly service and folks you can trust.
We�ve put more people behind the wheel-
Jim Taylor Chevrolet makin� it real!
Ryan Seacrest: Oooook. Um, yeah... let�s see what our judges have to say.
Randy: *shocked* What planet are you from, Bo?
Bo: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
Randy: I didn�t. Anyway, uh, it was just OK for me.
Paula: I loved it.
Simon: First of all, song choice. Second of all, that was just kind of creepy.
Randy: Yeah. Creepy. Creepy as a polar bear on a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific with a guy who somehow smuggled about 400 knives onto a plane...
Paula: Now you�ve got the analogy thing going!
Randy: No, not really. You don�t watch LOST before this show comes on?
Paula: Uh... no.
Randy: so you didn�t hear about Boone and Locke with the plane and all that? *Starts bawling* Boone was my favorite character!
Simon: Stupid local commercial song is stuck in my head now.
Randy: Mine, too. Dang, that�s catchy. Man, did you sacrifice to the devil to get that tune or what?
Simon: Ah! It hurts!
Paula: I loved it.
Randy: Must... buy.... trucks....
Ryan: Um, I think we�re going to have another commercial break about now.
Electronic cue sign: If we must.... *Turns to audience* APPLAUD, MY MINIONS!
Audience: *applauds*
Electronic cue sign: *chuckles*
_
Ryan: We�re back on now!
Simon: No crap, Sherlock?
Ryan: here�s our next contestant.
Constantine: I�ve always loved this song, and it really just means a lot to me. So, here goes!
Hey little fella, something,
What you thought was enough
Might be too much
Charmin ultra, more cushiony than ever before
Charmin ultra, less is more
When we say less is more, less is more
More absorbent than the regular ripple brand, for sure!
What you used to love, now you're gonna adore!
Charmin ultra, less is more!
Cha-cha-cha... CHARMIN!
Simon: Horrible.
Paula: I loved it.
Randy: It was OK.
Ryan: Am I the only one who�s seeing a pattern developing here among our judges?
Electronic cue sign: No, I noticed it, too.
Ryan: Anyway, let's go backstage for a look at our next performer!
Nikko Smith: I really wanted to show myself for who I am tonight, and so I'm going to sing ''Mr. Clean.''
*On stage*
......Mr. Clean can clean your whole house with a fresh new scent of orange!
Paula: Well, can we get some applause or what?
Electronic cue sign: that's MY job. APPLAUD!
Audience: *applauds*
Electronic cue sign: LOUDER!
Audience member: *angry* we're tired of listening to you! We're going on strike!
Electronic cue sign: you can't go on strike! You're the AUDIENCE!
Nikko: Uh... some constructive critism, please...
Simon: oh, yes, Nikko... you were horrible. Anyway, Randy...
Paula: hello! The audience LEFT!
Randy: I can fix that... hey, Ryan!
Ryan: what?
Randy: remember what happened to Mario?
Ryan: I try not to.
Randy: well, make sure it happens to Mr. Cue Sign, too, you know what I mean?
Ryan: *evil grin* will do! *Runs to cue sign and breaks it off the wall, begins dragging it backstage*
Electronic cue sign: No! No! I DEMAND THAT YOU PUT ME DOWN! I shall unleash my wrath upon thee! No! No! Noooooo!
*CRASH*
Ryan: Well, that's taken care of!
Electronic cue sign: *limps in wearing a catfish suit* I'll meet you backstage after the show along with Mario.
Audience: *runs back in upon hearing the news about the Electronic Cue Sign*
Ryan: Uh-oh. Um, commercial time!
Randy: Stampede!
Simon: *censored*
--45 MINUTE COMMERCIAL BREAK--
-I plan to finish this later and maybe change up Bo�s scene, but for now this is it for the performance night-
ELIMINATION NIGHT
--The idea for this one came from the fact that they stretch it out soooo much--
Ryan: *Points*
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: in
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: the
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: bottom
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: three.
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: So
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: and
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you.
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: *Points* You
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: safe.
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: Nikko,
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: OUT! *Thinking* Thank the Lord....
Ok, so tell me what ya think, what ya don't think, whatever. It has a few inside jokes, though, so if you don't get it, don't sweat it.
PS- Am I the only one here besides my fictional version of Randy Jackson that watches Lost?
-------------------------------------------
NOTE: If you don't watch American Idol, you probably won't understand any of this. In fact, you probably won't understand a lot of it as it is, lol.
Anyways, here it is, an American Idol spoof my brother and I were doing. More may be added later.
PERFORMANCE NIGHT
Ryan Seacrest: Welcome to yet another night of American Idol! As you know...
Simon Cowell: Get on with it, Ryan.
Ryan: *to Simon* Shut up or I'll douse you again.
Paula Abdul: That wasn't very nice!
Ryan: *looking at camera* ANYWAY, *throws a cup of water at Simon*
Simon: *censored*
Ryan: As you know, we have a theme for each night, and this week's theme is...
Randy Jackson: let me guess- musicals?
Ryan: haha, no we did that last week.
Simon: *sarcastically* Um... reggae hits from the 20's?
Ryan: Close!
Paula: Instrumental classics?
Ryan: Yes! Wait, no, that's next week...
Simon: *rolls eyes*
Ryan: I saw that.
Simon: Congratulations.
Ryan: *Throws Simon a dirty look**Looking back at camera* let's go backstage with our finalists and see what's up! ..... Ok, finalists, here are your hints: annoying, gets stuck in your head, and they're everywhere.
Vonzell Solomon: your fangirls?
Carrie Underwood: how would fangirls get stuck in your head?
Vonzell: oh, yeah. Um...
Constantine Maroulis (hope I spelled that right): I think I know this one!
Bo Bice: *thinking* it doesn't matter if you do or not cause I'm still gonna kick butt in this competition. Hehe. Little do they know that I'm actually an already-famed popstar in disguise that was taken captive by aliens some 700 years ago...
*Speaking now*
Mwahahaha!
Scott Savol: *To Bo* You all right, man?
Bo: *Evil grin* Yes. I'm doing just fine, I'd say.
Ryan: *to Constantine* Well?
Constantine: Um... choir hymns?
Ryan: Uh.... no. Commercial jingles!
Finalists: ----
Ryan: And back to the show after this 30-minute commercial break!
--45 MINUTE COMMERCIAL BREAK--
Ryan: Weeeee're back for more American Idol!
Simon: *mutters* just to state the obvious...
Mario Vasquez: *limps in wearing a catfish suit* and more me!
Ryan: *gasps* you're back! I-I mean, uh, wow what a... surprise...
Mario: Ryan, after the show, you've had it!
Ryan: *gulps* there are witnesses...... *points to audience*
Mario: After the show... BAM. �*Leaves*
Ryan: OK, that didn�t just happen. Anyway, let�s take a look at our first contestant, Nadia Turner!
Nadia Turner: *On the �interview� camera, backstage* I�ve always loved sour cream. I mean, it kind of follows the story of my life, you know? So for me it was a pretty obvious choice. I just hope the real me comes out tonight, but I think it will.
*On stage*
Start off your day with a dollop, a dollop.
You can light up a room with a dollop... of daisy!
They say it comes in lots of styles
When you spread it around you get lots of smiles.
Your family and friends are special to you,
So give �em all a dollop or two!
A dollop, a dollop, a dollop...
Of Daisy!
Electronic cue sign: *to audience* Well, applaud all ready!
Audience: *sits there stupidly*
Electronic cue sign: I said applaud, you imbeciles!
Audience: *applauds, according to electronic sign*
Electronic cue sign: yes, applaud my slaves! Obey my every whim! Mwahahaha!
Ryan: Well, let�s see what our judges have to say about this!
Randy: You got a little pitchy in some places, ya know, it was just... it was just OK for me, man. It was just OK.
Paula: I loved it! You rule the world! It�s all clear from here on out! You go, girl!
Simon: It was horrible. Your song was as pitchy as a donkey stepping on a mosquito with a hangover.
Paula: I disagree. Besides, your analogies still suck.
Electronic cue sign: I understood his analogy.
Ryan: Let�s move on, shall we?
Electronic cue sign: Oh, yes, we shall. Because I want to! It�s all me!
Bo: This week�s theme was pretty difficult to do, cuz you know, it�s really throwing me out of my element, but I think I pulled myself out of it. *Thinking* Hahaha. I shall vanquish wanna-be rocker Constantine once again! *Speaking now* Mwahahahaha!
Electronic cue sign: Uh, Bo, are you OK?
BO: Hey, Louisiana, do you wanna great deal?
Talk to Jim Taylor! He can make it real
In a Chevy.
Save big money on a car or truck,
Friendly service and folks you can trust.
We�ve put more people behind the wheel-
Jim Taylor Chevrolet makin� it real!
Ryan Seacrest: Oooook. Um, yeah... let�s see what our judges have to say.
Randy: *shocked* What planet are you from, Bo?
Bo: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
Randy: I didn�t. Anyway, uh, it was just OK for me.
Paula: I loved it.
Simon: First of all, song choice. Second of all, that was just kind of creepy.
Randy: Yeah. Creepy. Creepy as a polar bear on a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific with a guy who somehow smuggled about 400 knives onto a plane...
Paula: Now you�ve got the analogy thing going!
Randy: No, not really. You don�t watch LOST before this show comes on?
Paula: Uh... no.
Randy: so you didn�t hear about Boone and Locke with the plane and all that? *Starts bawling* Boone was my favorite character!
Simon: Stupid local commercial song is stuck in my head now.
Randy: Mine, too. Dang, that�s catchy. Man, did you sacrifice to the devil to get that tune or what?
Simon: Ah! It hurts!
Paula: I loved it.
Randy: Must... buy.... trucks....
Ryan: Um, I think we�re going to have another commercial break about now.
Electronic cue sign: If we must.... *Turns to audience* APPLAUD, MY MINIONS!
Audience: *applauds*
Electronic cue sign: *chuckles*
_
Ryan: We�re back on now!
Simon: No crap, Sherlock?
Ryan: here�s our next contestant.
Constantine: I�ve always loved this song, and it really just means a lot to me. So, here goes!
Hey little fella, something,
What you thought was enough
Might be too much
Charmin ultra, more cushiony than ever before
Charmin ultra, less is more
When we say less is more, less is more
More absorbent than the regular ripple brand, for sure!
What you used to love, now you're gonna adore!
Charmin ultra, less is more!
Cha-cha-cha... CHARMIN!
Simon: Horrible.
Paula: I loved it.
Randy: It was OK.
Ryan: Am I the only one who�s seeing a pattern developing here among our judges?
Electronic cue sign: No, I noticed it, too.
Ryan: Anyway, let's go backstage for a look at our next performer!
Nikko Smith: I really wanted to show myself for who I am tonight, and so I'm going to sing ''Mr. Clean.''
*On stage*
......Mr. Clean can clean your whole house with a fresh new scent of orange!
Paula: Well, can we get some applause or what?
Electronic cue sign: that's MY job. APPLAUD!
Audience: *applauds*
Electronic cue sign: LOUDER!
Audience member: *angry* we're tired of listening to you! We're going on strike!
Electronic cue sign: you can't go on strike! You're the AUDIENCE!
Nikko: Uh... some constructive critism, please...
Simon: oh, yes, Nikko... you were horrible. Anyway, Randy...
Paula: hello! The audience LEFT!
Randy: I can fix that... hey, Ryan!
Ryan: what?
Randy: remember what happened to Mario?
Ryan: I try not to.
Randy: well, make sure it happens to Mr. Cue Sign, too, you know what I mean?
Ryan: *evil grin* will do! *Runs to cue sign and breaks it off the wall, begins dragging it backstage*
Electronic cue sign: No! No! I DEMAND THAT YOU PUT ME DOWN! I shall unleash my wrath upon thee! No! No! Noooooo!
*CRASH*
Ryan: Well, that's taken care of!
Electronic cue sign: *limps in wearing a catfish suit* I'll meet you backstage after the show along with Mario.
Audience: *runs back in upon hearing the news about the Electronic Cue Sign*
Ryan: Uh-oh. Um, commercial time!
Randy: Stampede!
Simon: *censored*
--45 MINUTE COMMERCIAL BREAK--
-I plan to finish this later and maybe change up Bo�s scene, but for now this is it for the performance night-
ELIMINATION NIGHT
--The idea for this one came from the fact that they stretch it out soooo much--
Ryan: *Points*
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: in
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: the
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: bottom
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: three.
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: So
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: and
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you.
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: *Points* You
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: safe.
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: Nikko,
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: you
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: are
--10-minute Commercial Break�
Ryan: OUT! *Thinking* Thank the Lord....
Ok, so tell me what ya think, what ya don't think, whatever. It has a few inside jokes, though, so if you don't get it, don't sweat it.
PS- Am I the only one here besides my fictional version of Randy Jackson that watches Lost?